WORTHACHARM

Warning: This is a 2-part post and part 2 will be posted on Wednesday 12/14/22

Hey y’all, I am finally back! Though, after being gone for so long, I thought y’all deserved to know the reason I went on a hiatus this year.

I’m just going to say post-grad depression kicked my behind this year. Let me also mentioned that post-grad looks different for everyone. We all go through different things with it comes to post-grad such as depression, confusion, the feeling of being stuck, navigating adulthood, etc. You also have others who are doing great coming out straight out of school and doing well with navigating their early-adulthood, but they still may struggle with other things. My experience with post-grad was more of the depression aspect and I’m going to share my experience with you all today.

Throughout this year, I’ve struggled mentally with trying to move forward with my life and figuring out what I wanted out of my life. I was confused because I didn’t know what the next step of my life was supposed to be and I felt like God was not there or hearing my cries. I felt stuck being back in my hometown. I was even in my career field doing exactly what I wanted do when I graduated, but y’all it still was not enough. It was hard and it got the best of me which is why I had to cut back on WorthACharm for a while because I was not motivated to write or motivate others.

During this time, the regrets of not going straight to graduate school and taking the offers of continuing my track career were heavily on my mind. The only thing that was really holding me back with going to get my Masters was the workload and the fear of the taking the GRE exam. Though, I tried to trust myself a little and I committed to studying for the exam. I was weeks into studying when I lost the motivation of going forward with taking the test. So, I gave up that idea and went back to trying to figure things out another way.

To be quite honest, I was doing a lot of comparison between my life and others. I was constantly on social media and watching my friends from school still living on campus, so I would often get in my feelings about missing the campus life. I was constantly ready for something new and for a changed in my life just from seeing others moving on with their lives. I was in therapy at the time, but I was still struggling because I could not stick to staying motivated with taking care of myself. Then, the suicidal thoughts were flowing in my head to where I was so close to ending my life because I could not take being unhappy and confused much longer. I would just pray for God to end it all for me or I would wish something would just happen to me.

Listen life was lifing for me and it was not until after I went to the Maverick City concert and going on vacation that gave me the push and reset I needed to at least start back working out regularly. I was making sure I was practicing what I was given in my therapy sessions as well. In August, I decided I really needed to do a reset because I was lost and was losing myself again. I did a social media cleanse for a month and in all honestly I felt good during that break. I got back in the groove of journaling and returning to old hobbies, I felt free again!

Bu then something else happened.. Post Grad II